You really only understand how drunk you are when you’re peeing
brendonbrandon: themerrygames: Hey guys the 21st is gonna be someone has had that joke up their sleeve for a very long time
femburton: it’s a lot easier to do crunches if you imagine you’re a vampire rising from the coffin
“go on,” i whisper as i unfold my hands towards the open sky. a single fuck escapes from my fingers, soaring gracefully into the cool air. “you’re free now.” my last fuck has gone i have nothing left to give
And on the fifth day...
He bought her Final Fantasy VII and peace was restored.
“This is the last twilight movie” robert pattinson whispers. he lifts his face towards the sky and raises his arms. He begins to float, over the buildings, through the clouds. He floats out of range of earth’s gravitational pull and begins to spin through the stars. he is free
Pussalia on da pedestal.: jaimeshanice: imagine... →
femburton: jaimeshanice: imagine having a really big spider as a pet that didnt bite or jump or do anything scary just like a two foot long spider that just sits there and follows you around like a puppy and speaks english and when it talks it has a really deep voice and talks in a really…
femburton: i never blacklist anyone’s url. i find that rude, disrespectful and unnecessarily mean. if i dislike someone, i just murder them quietly in the dead of night, tie bricks to their legs and let them sink slowly to the bottom of a nearby lake. spread love
me before doing anything: better get high first